There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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