from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Randomize
