Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
