If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
