Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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