He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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