So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
