Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
