Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
