**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
