do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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