She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
