I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
