I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize