Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
