Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
