Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
