im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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