we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Randomize
