i permit you to call me
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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