i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
