After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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