dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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