a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
