If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
