Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
