Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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