I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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