Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize