So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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