had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize