Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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