Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I think I won the penis lottery.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
