my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
it glows. i had to have it.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
