Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
my being single is dangerous.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
