my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
