she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Randomize
