he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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