meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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