Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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