I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
