I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
