Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
