no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
