I got chris browned last night
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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