You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
my being single is dangerous.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
My vagina is officially offended.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
