im drinking this country out of the recession.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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