i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
