'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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