OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
