No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
