it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize