you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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