the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
