zippers are such a cool invention
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
