Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
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