No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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