Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
