I think I died a long time ago.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize