Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
