Christians are straight up FREAKS
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
