As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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