After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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