went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
