Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
