Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
