no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
