# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
