omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
