I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
