I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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