Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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