pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
