I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
