Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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