There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
