So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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