ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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