some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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