Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize