some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
