I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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