it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
